I bought my mum, 60, a sex toy for Mother's Day – she was mortified but gave it a go (and says it didn't hit the spot)
MOST mums are showered with flowers, chocolates and spa days on Mother's Day. But Kristy Ranson decided to spice things up for her mum last year.
Instead of the more traditional gifts, the 39-year-old photographer lavished her mum Jacqueline Green, 60, a care worker from South Shields with… a sex toy.
Kristy, a mum-of-five from Gatehead spoke to Fabulous about her unusual choice of gift…
I’ve always picked the usual gifts for my mum, like flowers and chocolates, on Mother’s Day and she’s always loved them.
But coming from a family who have always been open with each other, about everything from first kisses to our sex toys, I decided last year be a little naughty.
My mum’s partner, Rachid, went away to France for work for six months last year, and I knew she’d be lonely.
My partner Jaime also travels a lot so I know what it’s like to go without sex for a long time.
I thought to myself ‘What better gift than a vibrator?’ I knew she’d be a bit shocked, but I hoped she’d see the funny side.
She’d already told me that she’d used them in the past. We have the kind of relationship where can discuss sex openly so I thought I’d get her a new one as a surprise. I thought it would cheer her up.
When I looked on the Love Honey website, there were hundreds to choose from, but when a three for two advert flashed up on the laptop screen and I immediately knew I had to make the most of it.
I bought three bright pink Jessica Rabbit 10 function vibrators for just £69.98 – one for my mum, one for me and one for my sister.
After she unwrapped it, she clipped me round the ear and said ‘you could have warned me what it was.’ She was mortified
I couldn’t possibly feel awkward around my mum, she’s been with me while I was giving birth, so nothing can really embarrass us.
I was brought up in a home where we’d always be open with each other and ask questions, so it wasn’t unusual for us to talk about it.
When it arrived, I wrapped it up like a normal gift and without warning, I gave my mum the sex toy.
We spent Mother's Day with my partner, my brother, my kids who are all under 15 and my sister.
I handed it to her in a pink gift bag that said ‘Mum’ on it in front of everyone, but the packaging was clear plastic.
The minute she pulled it out of the bag, you could see what is was – but she did her best to make sure no-one saw.
She was devastated because she couldn’t put it on display. Every year she puts her flowers and cards in the windows so her friends can see it.
After she unwrapped it, she clipped me round the ear and said ‘you could have warned me what it was.’ She was mortified.
We told the kids it was underwear – but my brother guessed what it really was and groaned ‘Kirsty!’
Soon we were all laughing about it. My partner wasn’t the least bit surprised that I’d do that for my mum, he knows what we’re like.
He’d never dream of it; his mum wouldn’t find that funny at all.
When I next saw my mum, she told me she'd used it. But she was very impressed, telling me 'I've had better toys'
Two weeks later, when I next saw my mum, she told me she’d used it.
It didn’t come as a surprise to me, I thought she might get lonely with her partner away.
She wasn't very impressed though, telling me ‘my Mother’s Day gift, didn’t think much of that, I’ve had better toys.’
I couldn’t help but laugh! I promised to read the reviews next time. I don’t think she plans on using it again, she wasn’t nearly as impressed as she was with her other toys.
Most people might be shocked at the idea of giving your mum something as outrageous as a sex toy, but I don’t care. It was a joke and she laughed about it eventually.
But having given her such a funny – and naughty – gift last year, I am a bit nervous for this Mother’s Day. I don’t know what to get her.
Most people might be shocked at the idea of giving your mum something as outrageous as a sex toy, but I don’t care. It was a joke and she laughed about it eventually
She’s recently been quite ill after having an infected bone removed from her jaw, so her face is swollen and sore, so I may have to tone it down – she’s already told me she doesn’t want another sex toy.
Perhaps I’ll get her a pamper session or spa day.
Every year she gets me something from my own kids, who are aged between two and 15, and I’m terrified about what she’ll get me this year.
We’ve always played practical jokes on each other, especially when we lived together when I was younger, so I’m not looking forward to finding out what I’ve got to open after last year.
Earlier this week, doctors advised masturbating during coronavirus lockdown to "boost immune systems" and "fight off infection".
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