I'm a parenting expert – how to confront your teenage kids when they lash out with anger and it hurts your feelings
THE ONE thing parents never signed up for when having kids is seeing them go through puberty.
This awkward stage is not fun for anyone – not the teenagers or their relatives.
It is especially hard when you see your small baby suddenly turn into a monster almost overnight – how did it happen?
We know that their often irrational behaviour is ruled by hormones and that what they say in most cases is not what they mean – but it's difficult not to take it personally.
Shouted at, called names or ignored – if not all at once – we're left hurt and completely puzzled.
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Have you also observed that, over the decades, teens have become extra mean?
"If you and I had talked to her parents like that," says Aly Pain, a parenting expert, "We would've been about six feet under in six seconds flat!"
According to her research, teenagers these days are less empathetic than their predecessors, with compassion and sympathy down 40%.
This is because the rise of technology and social media – that's right, how much time we spend on our digital devices also affects how we act in real life.
"They're doing a lot of the relationships on digital platforms."
"That is removing the opportunity for them to see the impact of their words and actions on the receiver's face, body language, the tone of their words," she explained.
Does this mean we should shut down?
Absolutely not – the certified life coach insists that this will only help them dehumanise you.
In her opinion, it's actually more helpful if you let them see your facial expressions so they could know how their "words landed".
"Ouch! Maybe try that again!" a phrase she suggests using.
"That felt really hurtful!"
"Are there other words you might want to choose?"
Allowing your teenager to see your emotions can help build empathy and, as the expert says, give them back "a little bit heart and a little less claw."
"This is so true," wrote a user, "It's like being mean is considered cool!"
"Look at all the movies, television shows, music and social media that glorifies it!" agreed Aly.
One desperate mum commented: "This was so needed! So much claw with both of my teens!"
If your kids are still not teenagers, check out this! You’ve been changing your baby wrong – the trick to stop them peeing on you is so easy and it’s blowing parents’ minds.
Meanwhile, mum heartbroken after daughter is savagely UNINVITED from sleepover party & her resolution made everything so much worse.
Also, this mum couldn't care any less – ''I’m a mum and openly judge other parents – people troll me for my opinions but I don’t care, I’m just being honest!''
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