Tearful bartender says people treat her differently after weight gain

Bartender who is recovering from an eating disorder breaks down in tears as she reveals how differently customers treat her since she gained weight: ‘My whole life changed… people don’t even look me in the eye’

  • Cassidy Lane, 28, from Iowa, opened up about her weight gain in a viral TikTok video, explaining how customers’ treatment of her has changed 
  • The bartender explained that she has been in recovery from an eating disorder for several months and as a result, she has gained weight 
  • She explained that she has noticed a stark difference in the way customers behave around her since her body changed 
  • Breaking down in tears, Cassidy said that people no longer look her in the eye and ‘aren’t nice’ to her, ‘especially men’ 
  • Her video has struck a chord with hundreds of thousands of viewers, racking up more than five million views in a matter of days   

A body-positive bartender who is recovering from an eating disorder has opened up about how customers’ treatment of her has changed since she began gaining weight, sharing a heartbreaking video in which she is seen sobbing while sharing her experiences. 

Cassidy Lane, 28, from Iowa, took to TikTok to respond to another user’s question about ‘pretty privilege’, explaining that she has a unique perspective on it as someone who ‘had pretty privilege and is now fat’. 

‘So I work in the service industry right, I’m a bartender,’ she began her clip. ‘And if you are unaware, the way you look influences it a lot. Whether that’s tips or how people treat you… it just does.’ 

The bartender went on to share how her ‘whole life changed’ when she began recovering from her eating disorder, saying: ‘When I tell you that my whole life changed when I started getting help for my eating disorder which resulted in weight gain after the pandemic…’

Heartbreaking: An Iowa bartender has gone viral after tearfully revealing how differently her customers treat her since she gained weight while recovering from an eating disorder 

Upset: Cassidy Lane, 28, took to TikTok to share her experiences, revealing that once-friendly customers – ‘especially men’ – ‘are not nice’ to her anymore 

Breaking down in tears, Cassidy detailed the ways in which customers’ behavior towards her began to change in light of her weight gain, revealing that once-friendly interactions became cold and unkind, while admitting that some people – ‘especially men’ – don’t even look her straight in the eye.  

‘I really didn’t expect this to make me cry but, people don’t even look you in the eye anymore, they’re not nice to you, especially men,’ a tearful Cassidy relayed. 

‘Like I would walk up and say, “Hey, how’s it going, how are you?” and I used to get, “I’m doing really great honey, how are you?”‘

‘Now it’s a little more [blunt],’ she added, while acting out the kind of terse conversation she now has with people while working behind the bar. 

Cassidy confessed that her changing interactions with customers have made her feel ‘hopeless’ and have made her question whether she will ever reach a place when she isn’t judged solely on her appearance.  

‘It just makes you feel hopeless, like am I ever going to be worth more than my looks?’ she shared. 

Conscious of the fact that some people might disagree with her opinion, Cassidy pre-empted their criticism, saying: ‘For people saying that doesn’t actually happen, please raise your hand if you would like to willingly live as a fat person… 

‘The fact that nobody raises their hand makes the point.’ 

Her video, which racked up more than 5.1 million views in a matter of days, was quickly flooded with comments from people who shared their own similar experiences, with one writing: ‘My weight has fluctuated all my life. I am 100% treated nicer when I weigh less.’ 

Someone else agreed, chiming in: ‘I’ve gained and lost weight so many times due to my [eating disorder] and people always treat me better when I was smaller.’ 

‘And skinny girls wonder why we need the body positivity movement,’ another person sad. ‘We aren’t treated as humans because of our weight.’ 

One viewer who works in retail said that she has not only experienced this kind of behavior in regards to weight, but also when it comes to makeup, commenting: ‘Girl I’ve worked in retail forever and just the days I’d go without makeup vs with I noticed such a difference in the way people treat me.’ 

Changes: Even though she has experienced negativity from her customers, Cassidy says she is so much happier and healthier since she started her eating disorder recovery 

Looking forward: She insists that she ‘will never go back’ to the way she was before 

Inspiration: Cassidy’s TikTok video inspired hundreds of people to open up about their own experiences with fat-shaming 

Another confessed that they have faced fat-shaming discrimination from their own friends, writing: ‘100% this. My “friends” don’t want me in their pictures and when they introduce me to their other friends, I’m given a once over then ignored.’ 

Several people admitted to noticing a difference in the way they were treated after they gained weight during the pandemic, including on user who said that ‘people just treated her differently’ after she gained weight in quarantine. 

‘It’s a cruel world,’ the TikToker added.  

Despite her negative experiences at work, Cassidy has previously been very open about how her life has changed for the better since she began recovering from her eating disorder, posting an eye-opening video in January about how her mental health has improved over the past few months. 

‘Being thin doesn’t guarantee happiness,’ she captioned the clip, in which she shared photos of herself when she was struggling with her eating disorder, as well as images of herself since she started recovery. 

‘I was thin… but I hated myself,’ she explained in the video. ‘I was thin… but I was starving. I was thin… but I was so unhappy. I was thin… but I shut everyone out. 

‘Now I’m fat and I love myself and I live life fully and I am healthy. Now I’m happy and I’ll never go back.’ 

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